Broken Glass
by ThickerThanBlood
Summary: What makes a good friend? Someone who is there to ask what’s wrong?Someone who can comfort you with just a look?What makesa good friend isnot what they do, not what they say, because really, all anyone wants is someone to listen. GeorgeMeredith
1. Can't Stop Cryin'

Broken Glass

Chapter one - Can't Stop Cryin

_What makes a good friend? Someone who is there to ask what's wrong and actually hears the reply?Someone who can comfort you with just a look?What makesa good friend isnot what they do, not what they say, because as Hugh Elliot said, all anyone wants is someone to listen._

Meredith couldn't focus. Not only were her eyes crossing and uncrossing at inconvenient times during the day, but her thoughts wandered like a child's. The voices in the hospital would fade into the background, and she'd be caught up in a memory or a fantasy, until one of the other interns gently pinched, poked, and/or prodded her, or Bailey unceremoniously barked at her.

She couldn't count how many times she'd said, "I'm sorry," during the day or, "Excuse me," when she bumped into someone. Meredith was in a haze all day. Nothing could keep her attention, nothing could take her out of the bubble of pain, solitude and self pity she encased herself in. It was in the last few hours of her shift that she couldn't take it anymore.

A woman had come in after attempting suicide. Her wrists were slashed, and she'd taken a whole bottle of painkillers. The woman had regained consciousness when Meredith was binding her wrists, and begged the intern not to treat her. When Meredith asked what could be so bad, the woman just replied, "You wouldn't understand."

"I wouldn't understand? You don't think I understand pain, fear, rejection? You don't think that the man I love ripping my heart out because he's been married all this time qualifies as something to be suicidal about? You don't think my mother hating me half the time and not remembering who the hell I am the other half qualifies as something to be sad about?" Meredith screamed until tears spilled over her cheeks. Luckily, George was passing by and grabbed her by the wrist roughly, jerking her out into the hallway.

"Mer, what the hell are you doing?" He chastised in a low whisper, clenching his teeth.

Meredith's chest heaved, and she just looked at him before storming down to the locker room. Her feet moved as if she was watching her body from somewhere else. She felt disconnected from herself, from everything and everyone else.

Slamming her back heavily against the lockers, Meredith squeezed her eyes shut and tried rubbing the weariness from her eyes. How could she let him get to her like this? Why was he screwing with her mind? God, he had already let go of her, he was back with Addison, but he still lingered in her thoughts every second of every goddamn miserable hour.

She felt George gently remove her hands from her face and look at her.

"You sure told her."

Meredith chanced a scoff and sat on the bench. George sat facing her with a leg on either side.

"I want so bad to let go, but I just can't." She looked to him miserably, and he took one of her hands from her lap and kissed it, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles absently. All he wanted was to tell her that she was better off without him, he wasn't good enough for her, but he knew she wouldn't accept that.

"I know you think it's impossible, but you'll feel better. I don't know when, but I promise you Mer, it'll get better."

She just shook her head, biting her lip to stop her chin from trembling. But it was no use, her chin sunk to her chest, and her shoulders shook with sobs. George scooted closer to her and encased her in his arms. She leaned her forehead onto his shoulder, her face still buried in her hands.

"O'Malley, you're not through yet, get back up there." Bailey's voice cut through the companionship in the room.

"Sorry Mer, I gotta go." George whispered apologetically, and then his warmth was gone from her. Meredith quickly tried wiping her tears before standing to face Bailey.

"Look Grey, I know he ripped your bloody, still beating heart from your chest and threw it in the toilet, but you gotta be professional here. This is a place of work, and you have a job to do. You're on files for the rest of the week. Focus on that."

Bailey left, and Meredith sunk onto the bench again. Great. Files. Why did I have to go off on a damn attempted suicide, anyway? Meredith leaned forward to bang her head on the locker.

* * *

She moved slowly up her front steps, turned the doorknob and walked inside. She turned around to gently close the door behind her. Meredith could hear Izzie in the kitchen, cooking something, and the television was on in the living room. George was probably in there, so Meredith shrugged off her coat, leaving it on the floor and with heavy footsteps she traveled to the living room.

Sure enough, George was trying to stay awake watching a surgeon perform an appendectomy. He snapped his gaze to her when she sunk down beside him.

"How was filing?" He asked, fully awake now.

"Sucked." She lolled her head around to look at him. "How's the appendectomy?"

"Good. The guy's 54 and was on top of a 19 year old prostitute when he started seizing."

Meredith nodded, "Gross."

George agreed, and silence followed, until Meredith lay down on the couch, setting her head on his lap. He was stunned for a moment, but George just swallowed hard, and smoothed her hair away from her neck, continuing to run his fingers through it until she fell asleep.

Luckily, Meredith got Izzie to cover her shift for her the next morning. Her friend was sympathetic enough to understand that there was no way Meredith could focus on anything but crying and self pity. And as much as she wanted to help, there was nothing she could do but give her time to heal.

Meredith was absently sipping a cup of coffee and standing by the front door looking out at the snow when George trampled down the stairs. He stopped short when he saw her. She wore sweatpants and a big sweatshirt that was probably his at one time.

"Meredith?" He asked warily, and she turned to him. He was wearing a Grey SeaHawks tee shirt that looked like it was ten years old, and plaid PJ pants. "What are you doing, I thought you had to work today?"

"Izzie's covering for me. I'd much rather," she walked over to him, "hang around and feel sorry for myself." She took another sip of her coffee as she headed toward the living room. George followed and watched her for a second after she flopped on the couch.

"No. Uh-uh."

"No what?" Meredith looked up at him in surprise.

"You're not sitting around all day thinking about him. We're going to go do something."

"What are we going to do, George?" She asked sarcastically.

He narrowed his eyes as he thought, then stated matter of factly, "We're going ice skating."

Meredith scoffed as he left the room. "George!" She set her coffee cup on the table and went after him. He was pouring himself a mug in the kitchen. "I don't want to go ice skating." She stated.

"Too bad." He fired back with a smile and fixed himself a bowl of cereal. Meredith sat across from him with her knees pulled up to her chest. It was quiet in the house, except for the crunching of George's cereal, and he longed for something to say, but as was his unsavory custom, when something needed to be said to Meredith, George was plum out of ideas.

"Thanks for saving me yesterday." She said. "Things could've gotten ugly with that attempted suicide if you hadn't stopped me."

"You might've killed her."

Meredith smiled at him, and George looked back down to his cereal.

George was dressed and ready and in search of Meredith an hour later. He found her asleep on the couch. She must not have slept well last night. Maybe they wouldn't go ice skating today. He pulled a throw blanket over her and went up to his room to read.

* * *

First Grey's Anatomy fic...I just love George and Meredith...well, okay, so I just love George. I'm a sucker for the dorky guys. Anyway, probably just one more chapter. Please review!

-Aleks


	2. Just Friends

Just Friends…Yeah, Right

_A good friend doesn't tiptoe around you, afraid to offend. A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. A good friend will lay it all out, hold nothing back, and though he may not seem such a good friend after telling, you can wake him at four in the morning and you'll talk until the sun comes up. Those are the friends that really matter._

Meredith lay awake on the couch, trying desperately to fall into some sort of unconscious oblivion, to no avail. She was so tired, but her mind kept trying to make sense of everything that had happened. It was only a few minutes after George had pulled a blanket over her, and his hand lingered a little too long on her shoulder that Meredith decided sleeping was not an option.

She wavered a little bit when she stood, and when the dots cleared from her vision, she shuffled to the kitchen, the blanket wrapped tightly around her shoulders. Meredith had to stand on her tip toes to get a clean mug from the shelf, and she had just gotten her hand around it when her limbs went heavy, and her ears started to ring.

It must have been a half a second later when she woke up on the floor, but George was already bounding down the stairs. She blinked the spots from her eyes, and George was above her, his mouth moving, but she couldn't hear him.

He lifted her into the kitchen chair, and her hand started to throb. When she'd fallen, the mug had smashed on the floor, slicing her palm.

"Dammit." She growled, and plucked a bit of ceramic from the wound. Meredith walked to the sink, and clutched the counter to hold herself up.

"Whoa, whoa, Mer." George cooed, coming up behind her to steady her against his chest.

"I'm fine, George." She spat, and he let go of her, offended. But he didn't chastise her for lashing out. He just went upstairs to get the peroxide and bandages. He let her rinse and disinfect the cut, but she couldn't bandage herself with one hand. George took the gauze from her.

"George, I can do it myself, I'm not a child."

"Then stop acting like one." He shot back, and she closed her mouth in surprise and furrowed her brow. "I know it sucks that you loved him and he broke your heart, but this is not the way to handle it."

"How would you know?"

"I don't, but anything that winds up with you passing out on the floor and cutting your hand open doesn't seem like the prime path to take."

George wound the gauze around her hand and secured it, rubbing his thumb over itmindlessly for a momentbefore cleaning up and returning to his room without a word.

Watching her struggle with Derek's decision was killing him. Watching her beat herself up because the guy chose his wife instead was breaking his heart. He'd told her once anyone would be crazy not to choose her, but that didn't seem to help. So he'd tried keeping his advice to himself, since it didn't do much good. He didn't realize how much his words meant to her, that no matter how much it didn't seem to help, Meredith would've been much worse without them.

As if making up for his lack of advice, George had started subconsciously soothing her with little touches. Taking her hand in the locker room, finding excuses to hold her. He didn't mean to do it, but holding his tongue was so hard he needed another outlet, another way to try and help.

He stared at the words in his book that didn't matter. George rolled his eyes. Great, now even medicine can't keep my interest. It seemed that he thought about Meredith more and more.

His door opened, and Meredith stood there. Her eyes cast to the floor, the throw blanket over her shoulders.

"I'm sorry, George. I should know by now that you're only trying to help."

"I'm not doing a very good job, am I?"

"Better than you know."

"Your hand hurt?"

Meredith nodded and took a wary step inside his room. "You may have to kiss it." She smiled, and George praised God. He swung his legs over to the floor and reached out for her hand, which she gave him as well as a grin. George kissed her hand gently, and wanted only to pull her onto his lap and kiss her, but he just looked up at her.

"Better?"

"Oh, much." She was mockingly serious, and smiled. She crawled into his bed and curled up, taking his book. "Is this any good?"

"I suppose." George said, lying down next to her and snatching it up. She reached for it again, but he held it away from her, so she just slapped him, and he tossed it back to her. After a moment of silence, Meredith set the book behind her and lifted George's arm around her, setting her head on his arm and wrapping an arm around him.

George's body stiffened nervously for a moment, but he rubbed his hand back and forth over her back.

"Thank you, George. For being here for me. You didn't have to have so much patience with me."

"Of course I did. What else could I have done?"

"Avoided the issue altogether and assume I'd get over it on my own with time." She sighed, and pulled him closer. "You just said all the right things."

"Wow. There's a first."

Meredith laughed, and George set his other hand on hers. Her fingers immediately intertwined with his.

She'd almost fallen asleep when George suddenly pulled his hand away and sat up, rubbing his face roughly and cursing under his breath.

"George, what's wrong?" Meredith asked innocently, and he looked back to her and laughed.

"Nothing, Meredith. I'm going to go out and grab something to eat." He was at the doorway when she scoffed, and he looked back.

"Well…I'm going with you." She said sarcastically, as if it were obvious. George sighed.

"If you want."

Meredith showered and dressed quickly, careful not to disturb the bandage on her hand, and she and George drove in silence to a pizza place a few blocks away.

Meredith watched him with narrowed eyes as he avoided her gaze over the table. Finally, she was impatient enough to break the silence.

"What the hell is the matter, George?"

"Nothing, Meredith. I told you, I'm fine."

"Oh, stop being so passive aggressive. Why are you so mad at me?"

"What makes you think I'm mad at you?"

"I don't know…maybe it's the awkward silence, or that you won't even look at me. You weren't even going to invite me out to eat with you." She said, pouting, hurt. George's heart broke a little.

"Just forget it, okay. I'm not mad at you." He flashed her a smile, hoping it was believable. She seemed to buy it, because she didn't askhim again, and they ate their pizza and chatted lightly and shortly about patients and the weather.

* * *

Anyonymous reviews are accepted now. I apologize for that, I didn't realize it was disabled. Anyway, what the leech guy said in last week's episode made me sad. Living with someone you love but doesn't love you is lonelier than being alone...or something to that effect. It just felt like they're pushing him to get over her. And we don't want that! And stop putting Olivia in episodes, I don't like her. She's fugly andgave George the syph. Anyway, PM me or add me to MSN if you wanna chat...

Love always, Alek


	3. Tomorrow's Another Day

Chapter 3 – Tomorrow's Another Day

"What've we got, O'Malley?" Bailey began, rubbing her disdended belly, sounding exhausted. George snapped his eyes away from an oblivious Meredith and flipped through the chart. After dinner the night before, George had avoided Meredith at all costs, afraid she'd bring up his strange behavior. But, all the housemates were on call today, and avoiding was not an option.

His patient was still asleep from the exploratory surgery she'd undergone a few hours ago.

"Carlotta Miles, 24, suffered from intense back pain for three days before collapsing in a supermarket in convulsions. A cyst is pressing apart her 4th and 5th vertebrae, leaving her with no mobility below her waist."

Meredith's brows went up in a moment of surprise. A cyst between her vertebral column? It wasn't rare or anything, she'd just never had one before. Her eyes left George's face, as he continued answering Bailey's questions, to the face of the unconscious woman. An IV and oxygen flowed into her, and her hair was in a high, messy ponytail, but she was undeniably beautiful. Not many women can pull off the hospital bed look, but Ms. Miles was like a porcelain doll lying there with flawless skin and dark eyelashes.

The group started moving again, Alex, Izzie, Christina and Meredith followed Bailey like little ducklings out of the room. George stayed with Carlotta after receiving instructions on how to care for her. He gave her another shot of painkiller into her IV and scheduled MRI's and CAT scans and a consultation with Dr.Burke.

When he set her chart back on the foot of her bed, she stirred. George went to her side, talking to her as he lifted her eyelids and shone his penlight at her pupils, watching them dilate.

"Good morning, Carlotta, how are you-"

She batted his hand away and rubbed her eyes, cursing under her breath.

"Jesus, what the hell? You trying to burn my corneas?"

George furrowed his brow, he didn't take kindly to insults from patients. "Sorry, Ms. Miles." She opened her eyes and looked around. "Are you awake, now?" George said, a little more bitterly than he meant to.

"Yes, I am, thank you." She matched his tone. All of a sudden, she remembered why she was here. Carlotta wrapped her arms around her face for a moment, and when she put them down there were tears on her face. "I can't move my legs." She told George calmly, maybe a little pleading.

"I know."

After giving a now silent Carlotta an MRI, George had to wait another hour until the CAT scan machine was free. That gave him time for a donut and some coffee. He entered the cafeteria with his sights set on the coffee bar. Snapping a cap on his cup, he heard Meredith address him.

"Hey, George."

He spun around too fast to look nonchalant, but tried hard anyway.

"Oh, hey Meredith."

"How's your case?" She asked, not looking at him as she filled her cup.

"Crabby. Yours?"

"Old and vegetative."

"Oh, sorry."

"Ditto. So, about last night-"

George winced and interrupted, "There's nothing to talk about, Meredith, really."

She furrowed her brow, "I was going to thank you againfor putting up with me. Guilty conscience?"

"Oh...uh, no. Nevermind." George fidgeted with his cup under her scrutinizing eyes.

"Fine. Don't tell me." Meredith smiled smugly, "Izzie'll get it out of ya."

George watched her walk away, each quick, determined step she took was a knife in his gut. He wanted to call out for her to stop, shout across the room how much he loved her, but he just sipped his coffee and made his way back upstairs to Carlotta Miles.

Carlotta was lying down in her bed, flipping through a magazine she held above her. She looked over in surprise when George walked in. She took him aback when she grinned.

"Hello again, doc. O'Malley, right? Sorry I was apain in the assearlier, I'm just not a real morning person." She shrugged.

"I figured that out." He smiled, maybe this wouldn't be as bad as he thought. Carlotta looked away for a moment to smile, then lifted her eyes and her hand to him.

"Carlie."

George shook her hand. "Nice to meet you."

"So tell me Dr., what's wrong with me, anyway?" Carlie had to force herself to ask the question, and masked her horror with a smile and a light voice.

"Well, the back pain you experienced was caused by a small tumor that has developed between the plates of your vertebrae. Luckily, it's only small and there's a good chance once we remove it, you'll regain mobility in your legs."

Carlie took in this information and nodded. "There's a chance I may never walk again?"

"A slight chance."

"Sit down, Doctor O'Malley." She commanded gently, and he obliged. Carlie smiled at him, though her eyes were shining with tears. "I haven't talked to my brother in two years. We never really got along all that well, but there were some good times. And he's my brother, you know? I don't know what I'm trying to say, it's just been really heavy on me for a while. I guess being in the hospital scares me...I needed to get it out of me."

"I'm listening."

A tear slid into her hair, and when she spoke again, her voice quivered. "He's a year older than me, and so is my best friend Jackie. I guess they'd been dating for a few months before they told me. She was my only friend. Sad as it is, she was my only friend. And I just felt like he was taking her away from me, and she was abandoning me. I felt so alone. I still do."

George had no comfort to speak to her. He didn't know what to say. So, he just reached out to take her hand and rub his thumb over her palm gently. Carlie squeezed her eyes tight, trying not to sob.

"Dr. O'Malley, we're done with the MRI." Meredith said from the doorway. George looked back at her in surprise, pulling his hand away from Carlie's as if he'd been caught cheating. Meredith gave him alingering look before turning away. The emotions that were clear to George were sympathy, curiosity, and maybe a little bit of pain.

They'd shifted Carlie from her bed to a gurney, since she couldn't sit up in a wheelchair, and George was pushing her down the hall to the MRI when she reached up and behind her to smack his chest.

"Ow, what the H, Carlie?"

"What was with that girl doctor?"

"You mean Dr. Grey? Nothing."

Carlie laughed, "Oh, please O'Malley, I'm a girl, I can just see these things. So, gimme the scoop!"

"There's no scoop." He said through grit teeth, and Carlie laughed again at his discomfort.

"I'm sorry Doc. I don't mean to pry, I'm just bored."

In an unexpected moment of poignancy, George looked down at her. "No, you're just lonely. And it's George."

She reached up to smack him again with a smile.

* * *

Her pen was poised above the papers, her thoughts about her patient interrupted by a sudden image of him. Sitting by her side, holding her hand. George was a wonderful doctor with great bedside manner. He comforted all of his patients, gave them all hope and took away their worries. So why was she so disturbed? 

"G-r-e-y." Addison spelled out for her as she set her stack of binders next to Meredith at the Nurse's station.

"Huh? Oh, right." Meredith signed her name at the bottom of her papers and shifted her weight from one foot to the other as she tried to concentrate on the rest of the file. Addison stood calmly beside her, studying her own paperwork.

"A woman gave birth last night to conjoined fraternal twins. Their hip bones were fused together."

Meredith looked at Dr. Shepard, almost in awe. Not of the story she related, but the manner in which she related it to her. Nonchalantly, maybe friendly, almost as a peace offering. Meredith found that when she looked at her, with her red hair in a modest pony, sneakers instead of heels today, and blue scrubs just like everyone else, there was no pain in her heart.

"Were you able to separate them?"

"Dr. Shepard and I were able to successfully separate them." Addison replied, referring to her husband. Meredith smiled softly and nodded a congratulations. Addison gave her a smile before walking away. Meredith watched her go, wondering on the strange feeling she got.It was alack of feeling, rather. She felt nothing when she looked at Addison. No jealousy, no pain.

Meredith smiled. The worst was over.

* * *

It's pretty obvious I know _**nothing**_ at all about medicine, so I was just making stuff up. I'm not too worried about those minor details, the major thing here is the relationships between those involved. So I hope you're not offended I didn't take time to research or anything. Anyway...

-Aleks


	4. Too Short

Chapter 4 – Too Short

_Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all_.

George entered Carlie's room with Dr. Burke and her MRI and CAT scan results. As Dr. Burke explained the operation she would undergo to remove the tumor, Carlie's eyes kept jumping over to George, seeking reassurance. And he delivered, with just a small smile and the kindness that was perpetually present in his eyes.

George followed Dr. Burke into the hall.

"We've got an OR in a few hours. Keep her company until then, O'Malley."

"But, Dr. Burke, she's stable."

"No, she's not. She's terrified. Keep her calm and relaxed. No more anesthesia until the surgery. She'll need something to keep her mind off the pain until she starts prepping. She likes you, O'Malley, just sit with her."

George sighed as Dr. Burke walked away down the busy hall. It wouldn't be so bad, he reasoned. Carlie was gorgeous and funny, why wouldn't he want to sit with her for a few hours? Because no matter how much he told himself he should avoid her, George wanted to find Meredith.

"Sorry you're stuck with me." Carlie apologized when he reentered the room.

"I'm not _stuck_ with you."

"Sure you are. I know you'd rather be with Dr. Grey."

"Why are patients so insightful lately?" He asked, almost exasperated, and Carlie laughed.

"C'mere, George, I wanna tell you something." She beckoned to him with her fingers, and he sat next to her. Carlie reached out to him, and he leaned closer so she could run a hand over his messy hair, messing it even further. "I like you, George." She stated, running her hand down to his face. "I'm a sucker for dorks, no offense."

"None taken." He grinned.

"I can just tell you're a really great guy, and cute as all hell."

George took her hand from his face and held it in his under his chin. Her eyes filled with tears again, so he pressed her hand to his lips, as unprofessional as it was. George just couldn't stop himself. Carlie seemed so innocent, so beautiful. It would've been easy for him to love her, except for the part where he was in love with Meredith. God, why couldn't George just have fallen for Carlie, instead! It would've been so much easier on him, far less painful. But, he supposed, all things worthwhile are difficult. Except when they're impossible.

"Tell you what, Carlie, when you get out of the hospital, we'll go get dinner. Somewhere real fancy, then we'll go ice skating. How's that sound?"

She laughed through her tears, and nodded, "That sounds wonderful."

* * *

Meredith was scrubbing in on the surgery for her old vegetable patient, Mr. Trenk. He was getting a blood clot removed from his brain.

Dr. Shepherd, Derek, that is, entered and washed his hands next to her. Meredith was lost in her own thoughts for a moment.

"How long do you think it'll take to find the clot?"

"Not very long. The scans showed us the general area. The clot's pretty big and it'll be pronounced by tissue swelling."

Meredith tied on her scrubs and face mask, as did Derek. Before they entered the OR, Derek spoke hurriedly,

"How've you been, Mer? I haven't gotten a chance to talk to you."

Meredith turned to look at him, her back leaned gently against the swinging doors. "I've been alright." She shrugged. "Come on Dr. Shepherd, Mr. Trenk's waiting."

With that, they began their surgery. At one point, Meredith looked up at Derek across the old man's open skull. His gaze was concentrated down into the microscope, his hands working deftly with the delicate tissue. Meredith smiled as she remembered how they were together. How wonderful it seemed, how complete she felt. She gave herself one more moment to grieve over the loss of a beautiful love, then it was done.

As they stitched their patient back up, Meredith felt relieved. Maybe it was because she'd just had her hands in a man's brain, or maybe it was because her own wounds were healing, like Mr. Trenk's.

* * *

"Of course, Mr. Miles. And thank you." George hung up the phone and rushed up the stairs as Meredith was meandering down them.

"Hey, George." She smiled.

"Hey Mer, I gotta go prep Carlie for surgery." He rushed, trying to escape from her stare.

"Carlie? You mean Carlotta Miles."

"Yeah."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "I was surprised when I saw her. She belongs on the cover of Vogue."

"Uh, yeah, I guess."

"You guess? Come on, she's gorgeous."

"She's…yeah, she is." George shifted nervously, not having the time nor will to wonder why Meredith was looking at him so suspiciously, or why she was asking him these questions. "How was your brain surgery?"

"Perfect." She answered, and mumbled a goodbye. George continued rushing up the stairs as Meredith continued meandering down them.

"Okay, Carlie, you ready?" George smiled warmly as he entered her room.

"Not really, but I suppose…"

"Hey, don't even worry, you're in good hands."

"Yours, right?" She shifted her eyes from the cieling to his to chance a grin.

"Yeah. And just think, once you get out, we're going to buy you a new pair of walking shoes, and enter ourselves in a marathon."

Carlie rolled her eyes. "I thought we were going ice skating."

"Yeah, after the marathon." He started wheeling her bed from the room, chattering with her the entire way. George left her in the OR with the nurses and went to find Dr. Burke. Along the way, he ran into Jack Miles, Carlie's brother.

"Dr. O'Malley?" He asked.

"Yes, Mr.Miles, so good to see you. She's just about to go into surgery, it'll take a few hours. If you'd like to wait in the lobby you can see her when she wakes up."

"N-No, I'd like to see her now if I could, please, sir." Jack seemed jittery and skittish.

"Mr. Miles is anything wrong?"

"My sister she's…she's going into surgery. I just…want to see her now, please?" The man's face was twisted with anguish, and George led the way. He wasn't sterile, so he was reduced to seeing her through the glass that separated the wash room from the OR. Jack Miles let out a breath of joyful relief upon seeing his sister, but tears still ran down his face upon seeing the IV and the tools laid out around her.

The nurse just pushed the sedative into her IV when Carlie turned her head. Her brother approached the glass and set his fingertips on it. Carlie grinned and winked at him. Jack suppressed a sob and blew her a kiss.

"Mr. Miles, we're about to start her surgery, you have to go wait in the lobby."

"Yes, of course. Thank you, Doctor. Thank you so much." Jack shook George's hand enthusiastically and sent another look to Carlie before leaving. George washed his hands and tied on his mask.

Dr. Burke was a moment behind him, and more anesthesia was ordered to knock her out completely. George thought he saw her smile up at him before she fell unconscious.

The surgery was almost a complete success. George assisted in removing the tumor, and Dr. Burke had just cut out another piece of the tumor that had expanded when she flat lined. George quickly responded with Dr. Burke's urgings and tried jolting her heart back to life, but to no avail. Carlie was gone.

When he'd washed up, Dr. Burke approached him. "Notify her brother." He said wearily, but as he walked away George yelled after him.

"I don't know if I can, sir."

"What?" Burke turned on his heel back to him.

"They hadn't spoken for two years. He wouldn't have even known she was here, but I called him. He'd just gotten her back, and now she's gone. How can I tell him that?"

Burke walked back to him, "The same way you've seen me do it so many times. This isn't any different."

When he'd gone, George muttered, "Yes it is."

George didn't really remember telling Jack that his sister was dead. He can't remember the sound of his sobs, or the way he fell back in his chair, but he can remember walking away thinking how unfair life can be. Carlie was in the prime of her life. She'd told him she had just gotten the job she'd always wanted, and how she dreamt of visiting Europe someday.

George sat on the stairwell when Meredith approached him slowly and sat next to him. After a moment of silence she leaned against him and put her hand on his arm.

"I'm sorry, George."

He sighed, "So am I. There was nothing wrong, besides the tumor, I mean. She was perfectly healthy. Why did this happen?"

"Sometimes people just die. There's no good reason for it. But, at least you got her brother back for her."

"We would've been friends."

"I know. When's your shift over?"

George glanced at his watch. "Another few minutes."

"Mine, too. Let's go do something."

"I don't think so, Mer. I just want to go home and sleep." George replied dejectedly, wanting not only to grieve quietly, but also to escape Meredith and her neverending charm.

"Nu-uh. We're going ice skating."

* * *

Sorry 'bout the delay in updates..I've been hella busy! OMG who uses that word anyway? Hella...jeez, shoot me now. Okay, this chapter may not be as good but it's all I could squeeze out of my overtired brain.

Aleks


	5. Someone to Listen

Chapter 5 - Someone to Listen

Though they were both terrible ice skaters, George was slightly worse. Meredith actually managed to stay on her feet, though she took small childish strides. They held hands as they made their way around the rink. They got better by the end, and weren't the worst skaters there, but as they laughed and skated toward the exit, George slipped and fell again, this time taking Meredith with him. She fell on top of him, her right hand reaching out to the ice to slow her fall. She cried out, and George's laughter was immediately quelled. They sat up, and Meredith's legs were across George's lap, but she didn't care. She pulled her glove off, but her bandage looked clean.

"Dammit that hurt." She cursed, and George helped her back to her feet. Though as always, Meredith seemed oblivious to their proximity, George couldn't help but feel a little excited at the way she felt in his arms. But George had learned long ago to mask his feelings well, and they returned their skates and drove home. As soon as they walked in the door, they made their way to the living room. Izzie shouted something to them from the kitchen. She was in the kitchen having a snack before going to bed. They could hear her rummaging through cupboards.

George clicked the television on.

"I talked to Addison today." Meredith said nonchalantly after a moment of looking at the television screen, but not really watching.

"Really, about what?"

"Yeah, it was weird. She just told me about a case she had."

George just pulled the blanket from the back of the couch and threw it over them, propping his feet up on the coffee table.

"I talked to Derek, too." Meredith's voice was low.

"Really." George was not interested to hear this.

"Yeah." was all she said.

Still not over him, George thought. Meredith leaned her head onto his shoulder, but George jumped up. Mumbling something about being tired, he started toward the stairs.

She followed him up the stairs, suspicious. He pulled off his jacket and shoes before turning around to see her leaning against the doorway, an expectant look on her face.

"Just so we're clear, I still don't believe you." She stated so matter of factly.

"What?" He asked, even though the dread growing in his stomach told him exactly what she was talking about.

"That nothing's wrong. That you're not mad at me."

Her blue eyes held too much knowledge for comfort, and George was terrified to think he'd been stupid enough to think she wouldn't figure it out. She was Meredith Grey, intelligent and witty and perfect. How could she not know?

"My God, Meredith, why are you doing this to me?" George burst into unexpected anger. He was more frustrated, really.

"Doing what?" She threw her hands in the air. Maybe he was picking a fight, looking for someone to lash out at. Maybe they both were. And as everyone knows, you hurt those close to you first.

"Torturing me like this! You're still in love with Derek, but you … you lay your head on my shoulder and you smile at me and you just are you! Beautiful and funny and flawed…and…just so you."

She stared at him for a moment, her jaw almost agape. Of course she'd known. A woman just knows things like that. That was why it felt so good to be with him, why she sought him out to comfort her. She felt how much he loved her, and all Meredith wanted was to be loved.

"George, I-"

"I know, you don't see me like that. I'm one of the girls, right? It takes a married hotshot spinal surgeon from GQ to get your attention!" He spat, his chest heaving. Had he ever been so resentful? Meredith had shrunk back into herself, eyes devoid of anything but betrayal. Her arms hung limply at her sides, and after a moment she set her lips together and gazed around the room. Anywhere but at him.

George immediately regretted his ill chosen words. He took a step toward her, saying, "Mer-" but she held a hand up, silencing him. Without a look or a sound, she left his doorway to sink into her own bed down the hall. Clothes discarded, too broken to put pajamas on, she just wrapped herself in her cotton bathrobe and snuggled deep into her comforter, pretending someone was there with her, holding her.

Before she could stop them, the tears sprung from her. They ran like hot water down her face onto her chest, making her hair stick to her neck. She tried not to scream and cry and yell, but only partially succeeded. Small moans of pity and pain escaped her as she tossed under her blankets.

George squeezed his eyes shut as he listened to her cry. He tried not thinking he was the reason for it. Don't be so vain, George, she doesn't care enough to cry over you. But when the painful sobs from the other room stopped, the silence was what drove him crazy. He had to do something.

She was staring wide eyed at the ceiling, at the lights passing cars threw over her room. No thoughts. There was a weight sinking on the side of her bed, and she turned to see George's outline. She turned over away from him, wishing he would go away.

George just put a hand on her shoulder. "Mer, let me see your hand."

"No." She said.

"Mer, I have to change the bandage." He said, very reasonably. "You know I do."

So, she sat up and gave her hand to him, watching her fingers pick at the comforter in her lap. George clicked on the lamp on her bedside table, and gently took her hand. Meredith tensed visibly, and squeezed her eyes shut. His hands ran softly along hers, and she hardly felt the sting of the disinfectant. When he released her, it was far too soon.

She cradled her hands in her lap. "Thanks." It was a whisper, a grumble, as if she was consorting with the enemy.

"Yeah, no problem." He said with a scoff and shook his head. After throwing away the old bandage, he stood with his back to her for a moment, rubbing the bridge of his nose as he leaned against the wall with his other hand. Meredith chanced a glance up at his back.

A sudden impulse seized her, and she climbed gently from her warm covers. George heard her weight leave the bed, but was either too caught up in his own thoughts to notice, or just too tired and fed up to care. That was why it startled him when he felt her arms wrap around his midsection. He looked down to see Meredith's hands running all over his chest, balling in his shirt, squeezing him tight. Her cheek was rested against his shoulder blade, and she could've fallen asleep resting against him. His body was warm and smelled vaguely of laundry soap and that cologne he wore. She wondered why she hadn't noticed until now how the smell of it made her want to jump into his arms.

He took her hands and turned around in her arms, cupping her face gently. It took all the will power he had, and it left him weak, just restraining himself from leaning in to kiss her lips. When, despite himself, the distance between them began to lessen, he leaned his forehead against hers, clenching his eyes and swallowing hard, desperate to even his heavy breathing.

"I'm sorry, Meredith." George somehow managed to squeak out. She pulled back to look into his eyes.

"For what?" She smiled a small little smile that made his brow stitch together painfully.

"For everything. For Shepherd and for yelling at you and for loving you and…" He trailed off, letting his hands slide from gently holding her face to his sides. Meredith quickly took his hands and brought them back up to her lips.

"It's okay! It's okay, George, it's not your fault. I just need you, okay? Please, just touch me." Her eyes plead with him, begged for him, and George felt all his self control give way. He pulled her to him, kissed her, held her lips to his with a hand on the back of her neck, the other holding her body flush against his by the small of her back. Meredith wrapped her arms around him, kissed him back feverishly, opening her mouth against his.

The shock of their first kiss gave way to something even more intense. That bridge had been crossed. Now there was nothing to hold them back. Meredith pulled him to the bed, shed her robe which left her in bra and panties, and pulled him over her. George was numbed, he moved only on instinct and desire. There was not a thought in his mind but those of her, not a concern in the world but for her.

Her greedy hands peeled his shirt over his head, and pulled him to her, desperate to feel him against her again. When he kissed her again, he felt dampness on her cheeks. Curiously, he pulled back to see tears on her face.

"Mer?" He whispered, the frenzy of passion immediately dissolved. Wiping the tears from her face with his fingertips, George kissed her forehead and her cheeks. She looked away from him, but he took her chin gently, and didn't have to pull her, really. She looked back at him. "Oh, Mer, I'm so sorry." He apologized. For what, he couldn't say. For losing himself and taking advantage of her, maybe. To his surprise, she laughed.

"No, don't say that. You see what happens when you say that to me."

He fell onto his side beside her, and she followed, snuggling close to his chest, kissing the hollow of his neck. For a while they just lie there, unsure of what to say. Their friendship was surely ruined, and she was clearly not ready for a relationship. What to do?

"I'm still getting over him, George. I just have to accept that it's really over. It seems hard to believe something so good could really be gone from my life forever."

The words plunged hot knives into his gut and he physically winced.

"I know you don't want to hear this because, well, you love me and all, but I need to tell someone. And, since you love me and all, I figured you're the best one to talk to."

He kissed the top of her head, tangling his legs with hers, in which she so perfectly fit.

"It's just so hard, you know? To accept that he lied to me all that time he said he loved me. To be the mistress. To be second." George held her a little tighter. "And I think maybe that's why I sort of came to you for comfort. Because for you, I'm…"

"The only one?"

She looked up at him, apologetically.

"I hate myself for doing this to you." She buried her face in his chest again. George didn't reply for a while, just ran his fingertips down the length of her back.

"Don't beat yourself up, Meredith. I know you can't help how you are; it's what made me fall for you in the first place. And I know how hard it is to be alone, especially after your heart's been broken. I don't blame you for wanting some comfort, and although I know you don't want me…you do want me now, tonight. And I'll be content with that for a while." George dared a smile, if only to ease Meredith's pain. "But be well warned, the second you're through with this other guy, I'll be all over you like a fat kid on cake."

Meredith laughed, with a few small sobs mixed in, and he quickly quelled her tears with whispers, coos and kisses.

The sun had begun to rise before they knew, and they lay nose to nose, neither very tired, though they'd talked and kissed and held each other all night. Meredith leaned in once more to place a soft kiss on his lips.

"It's almost morning." She was almost sad. George closed his eyes.

"I know."

"Thank you for listening to me."

George smiled sadly, "What're friends for?"

"You're not my friend George." He almost died. "You'll never be the same to me again. But don't worry," she chuckled, "you're something different, now. Something more. Between a friend and a lover. It's not where you want to be, I'm sure, and I'm sure it's wrong on many different levels, but it's where I need you to be for a while."

"I'll be anywhere you want me to be." George whispered, adoration and devotion implied in his tone. Meredith smiled at him with tear filled eyes. How did she get so lucky?

"I know." She whispered back, leaning in to kiss him one last time before the sun broke the horizon.

* * *

Hope you all had a Merry Christmas anda Happy New Year! Thanks to everyone for taking the time to review! Just one more chapter, I'm sad to say, and this story will come to a close.

Love, Aleks


	6. Maha

Chapter 6 – _Maha_

Meredith's features were twisted up in some mix of confusion and thought. Izzie stared at her, jaw agape.

"You WHAT?"

They were alone in the elevator, returning to their floor after having breakfast and coffee downstairs. Izzie slapped her friend on the arm, and a smile began to form on her awe stricken face.

"I can't believe it! I never thought he had a chance." Izzie stared up at the ceiling in contemplation, chuckling to herself.

"I don't know what to do, Iz. What if it's weird with us now?"

"Of course it's going to be weird!" Izzie laughed, looking back to Meredith. The pitiful look on her friend's face chased the laughter away. "Look, Mer, you're in a transitional phase. You've upgraded from one night stands, at least!"

Meredith's features sunk further into confusion. "I don't want our friendship to be completely ruined, but it just felt so good to lay there with him last night."

"Well, yeah it did. He's in love with you, he'd do anything for you. But the thing is, did it feel so right because you feel something for him too, or just because you're lonely?"

"The million dollar question." Meredith sighed as the elevator doors opened. She and Izzie stepped out onto the floor and parted ways. Meredith's patient today was a middle aged man with multiple lacerations on his back from falling on a glass coffee table.

"Good morning, Mr. McKenzie, how're you feeling?"

"Wonderful, thank you." The man answered sincerely.

Meredith was surprised to see the woman she saw with him that morning was still there at his bedside, holding his hand. Mr. McKenzie smiled adoringly at her.

"I'm Dr. Grey. You are?" Meredith greeted.

"Joan Selling. Nice to meet you, Dr."

"So, David, if you don't mind me asking, how did you get this glass in your back?"

David laughed and Joan kissed his hand. "It was an accident. We were sort of in the throes of a…passionate moment and weren't paying attention to the location of the furniture."

"How long have you two been together?" Meredith asked with a smile as she readjusted the dials on Mr. McKenzie's heart monitor. They seemed so in love. David could hardly stop looking at her. Every few moments, Joan would bring his hand up to her face and cuddle it, kiss it.

David laughed, "About four hours." They kissed, and Meredith furrowed her brow.

* * *

Walking down the hall, Meredith passed Derek at the nurse's station. He looked up from his paperwork just as she glanced at him, and he smiled. Meredith gave a curt nod and continued on, but Derek jogged up to her. 

"Hello, Meredith."

"Hello, Dr. Shepherd."

"How are you?"

"I told you yesterday, Derek, I'm fine."

"I'm just wondering if I should believe you or not."

Meredith stopped, looked at him, studied him, and smiled.

"What?" He asked, bewildered.

"I'm sorry, it's just that the irony of it is…breathtaking." She seemed amazed and pleased at the epiphany she'd just had.

"I'm not sure I follow."

"I _am_ fine, Derek. This morning was the first morning in a long time that I didn't wake up thinking about you. I might even be more than fine... Are you?"

He was lost for words, and Meredith walked away.

* * *

Meredith had decided to keep Mr. McKenzie overnight for observation, just to be sure the lacerations on his back would heal without risk of infection. She had just cleaned the wound, observing its healing, when Mr. McKenzie asked Joan to go get them both some coffee, to which she lovingly obliged. 

Once they were alone, Mr. McKenzie addressed Meredith.

"You think we're crazy, don't you?"

Meredith looked up in surprise. David was studying her with a faint smile.

"Crazy? No, of course not." Meredith refused eye contact.

"It's okay, Dr. Grey, I saw the look on your face. You don't understand how we can be in love in so short a time."

Meredith didn't know what to say. No, she didn't understand. There's no way you can love a person when you know nothing about them. There's no such thing as love at first sight. Lust, maybe, but you can't fall in love with someone in four hours.

"Joan and I passed each other on the street, but when we locked eyes we couldn't look away. I called her back and asked her to have coffee with me, but the waitress hadn't even gotten to our table when we had to rush back to my house. We just couldn't stand it any longer." Meredith continued fussing with his monitors, saying nothing.

David smiled, "I asked her to marry me just before you came in."

"Oh?"

"She agreed. We've found _Maha_, Dr. Grey, the greatest love a soul can give. I'm a very spiritual man, and I believe that Joan was predestined for me. It doesn't take a lot of dates and expensive gifts for us to know. We connected in a deeper way than I ever thought possible. We're meant to be together, I just know it."

"How? How do you know?" Meredith asked urgently, her gaze suddenly imploring. David smiled sympathetically.

"You just do. If you're not sure if you've felt it yet, then you haven't. You'll know when it hits you; it's like a ton of bricks falling on your head. Like your heart is too small to hold all the love you feel, and you're not sure what you want to do most; make love, ask her to marry you, or die in each other's arms."

Meredith chewed on this strange information as she mulled about her daily routine. She was in the elevator alone, leaned against the back wall with some folders pressed to her chest when the elevator stopped to pick up another passenger on its travel downward.

George looked up to the opening doors and froze when he saw Meredith standing alone. His heartbeat increased at an alarming rate, and he didn't know what to do. Part of him wanted to run away, take the stairs, anything to avoid the awkwardness of being alone with her after what had happened. But the other part of him wanted nothing more than to take the opportunity to be alone with her again.

So, knowing running away was out of the question, George turned his eyes to the floor as he boarded the elevator. He stood close to the door, in front of Meredith, his sweating hands shoved nervously in his pockets. The doors slid shut and the elevator began descending.

Meredith watched his back observantly.

"Hi George." She smiled when he started at the sound of her voice. He turned around to face her.

"Hey Mer." He said timidly. Meredith chewed on her lip.

"I suppose…we should talk about last night?"

"Why? I mean, I don't see why we have to say anything. We both know what it was, there's no need to beat it to death." He nearly slurred his words, he spoke all in one breath.

"So what was it, George? What do you think it was?" Meredith asked directly.

He looked at her curiously, not liking this turn of conversation. With sudden poignancy and calmness, "You were sad. And I love you." There it was. George put it almost too simply. "You were confused and lonely, and I took advantage of that." George shrugged, as much as it hurt him.

"No, George." Meredith nearly cooed, and George slid his eyelids shut as if to block her out. "I wasn't confused then. I knew exactly what I was doing. When I started to think about it, that's where I run into trouble."

George didn't know what to say, so he didn't say anything. And in that silence, Meredith found herself in an unexpected moment of clarity.

All of a sudden, her hands started to tingle, and she didn't notice that she'd dropped the folder she held in her arms. It seemed as if she was suddenly too big for her body, and all of her soul was crushed inside. Meredith wanted to bounce off the walls of the elevator and scream at the top of her lungs. She felt giddy, her limbs were weak, and she threw herself into George's embrace.

She had looked at him so strangely, George didn't know what to do. Her eyes were happy and excited and some other unidentifiable emotion was clear. George held her trembling body to his, her arms were wrapped tightly about his neck.

"Meredith?" He asked breathily, confused.

She pulled back and tried to speak, but no words would come out. So she just sighed as tears stung her eyes and leaned in to kiss him. A deeper, more passionate kiss than any Meredith could've imagined. Her head spun, and George responded equally to the urgency she felt.

When, despite their best efforts to make the kiss last forever, they pulled apart, Meredith's eyes were still closed. George searched her face for some sort of clue as to what the hell was going through her mind.

"Meredith…" He begged, and she opened her eyes to his questioning ones. She smiled adoringly.

"So that's what it's like." She breathed, almost to herself.

"What? What what's like?" George was desperate for answers. He was on the verge of getting everything he ever wanted, he could feel it. There could be no doubt about her feelings after a kiss like that, but he still needed Meredith's audible verification.

She answered simply, as she leaned in for another kiss, "_Maha_."

* * *

El fin! So very gushy and mushy and all that fluff. I love it. Maha does not exactly translate into "soul mate" but it's the same sort of deal. Hope you all had a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Thank you all for taking the time to review, it is appreciated more than you know!

Love -- Aleks


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